Getting my Shit Together!

So on a depressing Sunday morning (even though it's sunny out) I decided to read last year's New Years resolutions. Not sure I met any of them but the one I found most prolific was to stop bashing bands on my blog. That must have been before I kicked the Valium habit (that was another resolution) because I did continue that and plan to continue this tradition through the year of 2008.

I never actually stick to resolutions but more or less write them so I have something to laugh at the next January 1st. So here we go. Buckle up, sit back and read 10 things that will probably never happen.

1) Get a boyfriend
-This has nothing to do with wanting a boyfriend. The whole concept really turns me off and I don't think I have ever enjoyed being single as much as I do now. However in order to discontinue some of my current behaviors I can only imagine a boyfriend would do this. The other option of a chastity belt and rehab just doesn't sound too appeasing.

2) Continue acting like I am 24 without guilt.
-Ever since I have moved back from LA I have finally started having fun and not being the ass hole at home on a Friday night. However some of my actions have derived a decent amount of this thing called guilt. Maybe without it I would actually get out of control but I am sick of waking up and cringing due to the night before. I am one my youngest friends so I should revel in this and remind all the 30 somethings how awesome that is.

3) Try to remember what a life plan is
-I used to have pretty much everyday of the next 5 years mapped out. Now I am lucky if I can figure out Wednesdays. Then again I am supposed to be in D.C. working as a journalist in some brownstone by now. After LA I just gave up on knowing what I should be doing with myself. Its actually way less stressful. Actually I think its a good thing. nevermind.

4) Dust more.
-I can see the dust on the tv and the wall clock. People must judge me.

5) Stop telling people I have a cat and then say he only has one eye.
-It's not even a disability and yet I feel the need to enlighten everyone of this fact. It's like when my grandma starts out a story with "I was talking to this Black man..." only to finish the story and realize race had nothing to do with it. I am sorry Odi.

6) Be on time.
-I am such a procrastinator and its already 2. I am going to be late. Sorry I didn't make it to 10.