The Horrors-Truth Behind The Hairspray

"We wouldn't compromise our music to get on the radio," said one of the weird named, bigger hair than I, members of The Horrors. Well I don't believe you and here is why.

Don't get me wrong, my number one hated band is still Panic! with The Killers following as a strong second, however The Horrors have entered my life and created a paradigm in the world of shit music, asking the real question, "Can I legitimately hate them?" Let us first begin with their musical talent. To me they aren't Panic! in writing catchy riffs they know will sell with no musical theory in mind. They also aren't The Killers directly ripping off older bands.

Firstly its hard for me to hate British bands because most them seem to have at least a drop more of intelligence that the clique shit coming out of the US, but with more volume in their hair than me and names like Spider Webb, we must take a second look at this band to determine whether they are the next shoot me in the face, I rather fuck a tree than listen to this music, band. I think that being from England is directly reflected in their music; as in they seem to have some sort of grasp of the original punk movement though I can only hope they don’t consider themselves part of the new one (which in my mind is non-existent).

Their recent fame seems to be based on the fact that they got a decent amount of press from their strobed out video directed by Chris Cunningham. Sure it might be visually pleasing, but I don’t have much else to say about it. I prefer his take on Madonna or Bjork. And also the fact that NME, the British music magazine going down the tube is taken upon itself to launch The Horrors career. So far we have established that they may not be as no talent as some of the other bands I enjoy hating on, but they also don’t have much going for them.

Now to my final point, the last straw that really made me lean in one direction as opposed to stay in the middle: their live show. Yes I did witness this and yes I did leave before the end due to the reality of my head potentially exploding. The hair is real, the fake goth bullshit is there but live the sound isn’t. It was like a massive mess of noise going in one ear and killing brain cell after brain cell as it attempted to exit out the other. Four cranberry and vodka’s and I still wanted to die and not in that good old emo slit your wrists way. I walked out. The band has recently been harassed and attacked on stage. No it wasn’t me but I do seem to understand why audience members would be motivated to do such a thing.


It wasn’t until I saw them in person that it hit me; despite all the potential signs that they aren’t just another façade or unimportant goth/rock clique, that is exactly what they are. Unlike other artists, they have done a better job of hiding it while still using a hint here and there to pull in the young, easily influenced, Hot Topic loving kids, while still snatching up some intelligent, studious listening fans along the way.