Blog War: Our Love to Admire and Bodysuits

For this blog war, I will need to bring my wit and intellect down a notch so the retard who participates can comprehend. Also for the benefit of their autism is the pronunciation key below. All you need to do is click on the pretty gray picture. Go on, click it!

pro·gres·sion /prəˈgrɛʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation

1.	the act of progressing; forward or onward movement.

When I was 8 years old I owned and valued a floral bodysuit. It had purple petunias and looked beautiful with my black tapered jeans. If you aren't familiar with bodysuits its necessary to point out how they must retain that tightness factor in order to exude the awesomeness factor.

There are two flaps with three buttons that can be snapped at the crotch. To take this wondrous piece of clothing off you must either unsnap the buttons and pull it up or wiggle out of the shoulders and pull it down. Both options create issue. If you choose the snapping option you must then re-snap to get it back on. This can be quite complicated as you need to stretch the material past the crotch and then bend over in order to view which snap goes where. As an 8 year old I did not have the sort of brilliant hand eye coordination I now possess.

Then there is the downward pull alternative. Though this doesn't create as many issues getting on and off it does offer the possibility of stretching out the body suit. There is one element that makes or breaks the amazingness of a body suit, its tightness. Loose this and you got nothing. You might as well wear a turtleneck and change your name to Sandy. So by pulling the bodysuit on and off it begins to sag, loose its shape and in my case had the potential to put more emphasis on the boyish haircut I had due to my mom taking me to a hair salon in Vancouver called Hair Country.

For the two necessary times during the day in which I had to put on or take off the body suit for dressing purposes I would take the snap option, as I had more time to devote to the process. However, there were also the numerous times during the day that I had to remove the bodysuit for the purpose or urination. I remember standing in the lime green stall with my pants around my ankles, debating which option made more sense. Then my 8 year old brain had a mental breakthrough. It had been an e=mc2, Moonlight sonata, mould=penicillin moment. I would hold the snap opening of the bodysuit to the side, as I peed. It was true brilliance.

So I sat on the toilet and my small prepubescent hand held the Lycra fabric to the side of the place I thought had two holes and not three and let my lunchtime chocolate milk out. As Niagara Falls continued, the fabric in my hand got tighter and tighter until I could no longer hold it. The bodysuit propelled its way back into place, pee splashed upwards and the purple petunias turned yellow. That night I unsnapped the bodysuit for the last time.

Buying that bodysuit and making that fashion statement showcased my awesomeness, pissing in the bodysuit was a mistake and putting the bodysuit on a hanger in my closet never to be warn again was a progression. I took a step forward, I learned from my mistakes and look at me now. WOW.

For Interpol, Turn on the Bright Lights was a showcase of awesomeness, Antics was a mistake and Our Love to Admire is a true progression.